Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 15 - Birthing the Mother

Dear Ones,

We are shifting into a new plane of consciousness.  One that is ruled by peace.  It is the age of pure enlightenment, of being, of love.   Our planet is transforming more and more into light.  We are leaving the age of fear and darkness behind.  We are leaving the age of the mind and becoming the age of the heart.  We will not dismiss the mind, as it has served us well.  It has been necessary to learn all that we have and advance to wonderful technical heights.   But what holds us back from going further is the void of living through the heart, the mother, the mother love.  Our knowledge is very important, this will never be dismissed.   The difference will be in how we use this knowledge and teach others.   Once we learn to integrate our knowledge into our state of being and allow ourselves to listen to our hearts first we will go much further than ever before.   Miracles will happen, shifts will occur, and lightness will abound.   This is what we are moving into.  This is the age of being. This is the age of being in the being first, connecting first, listening to within, then moving forward.  No longer will your choices be made based on the external....you will finally follow your heart, the internal. 

The age of loving thy self and loving thy neighbor is upon you.

The shift begins with you.  The healing begins with you.  The peace begins with you.  The love begins with you.  It is all already you. 

What can you do? You can be.  Be present with self.  Be present with others.  In the presence of the present there are unimaginable gifts just waiting to be opened.  Gifts of the heart that would never have been seen or felt with the mind.  When we are present with our hearts they show up for us to open.

Not too long from now...or it has already begun.... You will feel a calling from your heart to follow your spirit.  You have been pregnant with these dreams for a very long time.  Nurture the dream allow it to be birthed.  The voice inside of you that has the desire to 'be' something you have always wanted to be or do will be even louder.  One that you will no longer be able to ignore.  Listen to her, feel her calling, allow her to speak.  She is your heart.  Your true form, your state of being.

Follow your heart, follow your dream.  Do not be afraid.  Fears are of old energy, of the past.  Remember, they are there to lift us up and bring us further into our light. Face your fears, they have no power over you, you are the power...the peaceful power from within.

Step forth on the path of your heart.  Test the waters...day by day. Do something that brings you closer to your desires of the heart, your passions, your dreams. Live the promise...live the dream.   Your dream is not about force, pushing, making, or pulling other to come along.  It is about being it yourself and allowing others to come if they so choose.  Allow, ask, confide in source, and walk through the doors when they begin to open. 

Suppressing your fears from the past has brought on your illusions of lack, distrust, and unbelief. These are the patterns that will no longer serve you.

This is the age of the heart, the Mother, the light from within.  This is the age where we trust our bodies, trust ourselves, trust in our wisdom from within.  The universe will conspire to give you all that you inspire.

There is a calling, listen to her voice, feel it, trust it, listen....she is bringing you back to you.  The place you have always known but were afraid to be.  Come back to her.

 

Mother Light & Mother Love

Jennifer

 

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 14 - Mother Love

Dear Ones,

I come to you with great pleasure and sincere gratitude.  Everything is shifting rapidly and going forward with peaceful healing.  Mother Earth comes to you today with a request for self knowing self healing and self being.  She is calling your attention to the Mother within.  She is longing for you to return  to your true essence as a Motherly Being.  Whether you are male or female, it makes no difference.  The feminine is within ALL OF US.  She has been sleeping for a very long time.  Even in the age when women fought for their rights...this was not true feminine power.  It was feminism tainted with fear.   The age of femininity that the Mother is calling us back to remember is the age of Peaceful Power.   In this peaceful power there is nurturing.  There is a knowing that you are all that is and all that is ever needed.  Many of us lack the peace that we are seeking because we lack the nurturing from within.  We are longing for attention, we are longing for connection, we are longing for oneness with another.  But this longing comes from a deep void that has remained empty for a very long time.  We may not notice these longings until we have developed other manifestations of problems in our life; whether it is an addiction, craving, relentless fear, unsatisfying relationship...they stem from the void that you have had for a very long time.   You may be seeking food, people, things, substances to satisfy your cravings....but one can not satisfy an emptiness inside without first attending to the wounds.  Your body is a miraculous being of light that has the power to heal when we attend to our needs.  These needs come from the emotions within that are trying to get your attention.  They are pulling at your sleeve asking you to finally hear what they have to say.   Only you know what they are saying, only you understand what they mean.  You will never receive what you are seeking from the outside.  It can only come from listening to the deepness from within.  This deep void is no one's fault...there is no one to blame....it is a calling back to your spirit.  It is through the experience of this darkness, this void, that we remember our light.  Darkness is nothing to fear.  It is a gift to help you remember.  Without the fear we would not know which path to choose.  Through the fear we can choose to walk in our light. 

Mother Earth craves the nourishment and connection that you crave for yourself.  You are one in your yearnings and desires.  What you feel within you is what she is feeling within her.  In healing your wounds and attending to your seeds of darkness,  you heal her and allow the bounty of light to grow.

Be with yourself, breath into your being, ask for guidance, and Waite for the answers to come.  Love yourself with deep affection.  Bring compassion into your bodies through your thoughts and feelings.  Love your self as you would love a newborn infant.  When they cry, we connect and help to coddle their fears.  Do the same for you.  When you cry allow yourself to feel what is truly going on from within.  Connect with the different cries that are within you and begin to understand what each one means and what each one is truly seeking.  Sometimes it may be a compassionate swaddle of affection, sometimes it may be a nurturing substance of light filled foods or drink, sometimes it may be a need to go deeper within to find the roots of the cause of your discontent.  Whatever it is, it is the opportunity to feel and connect with your life and breathe motherly love into every space of your being.  Connect, see with the eyes of love. Be with yourself, talk softly to yourself, caress yourself, bathe yourself, massage yourself, feed yourself light, stretch yourself, move yourself gently and passionately, trust from within.  She is your guide. 

In the com(passion) for self we return to a depth full of all that we have ever been seeking.  We return to the nurturing guidance of a Mother's love.  It is through the Mother that we become love.

Mother Love, Mother Peace, Mother Light
Jennifer

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 13 - L.O.V.E.

Dear Ones,
It is with great pleasure that I reach you yet again with these words.   For these words are more than just words...they carry energy.  Just as all that around you is made up of different types of vibrations and frequencies, so are these words that you read.  They are meant to carry the highest frequencies of love, gratitude, and reverence for all that you are and all that you have already become.  These words carry deep gratitude beyond what anything can express.  It is a feeling that surrounds you of grace and wonderment in knowing that all is as exactly as it should be.
The time is now, dear one, to allow LOVE to flow through your body like never before.  It is time to allow lightness to abound within you.  You are limitless.  This is beyond concept beyond ideas. The mind cannot understand fully what you are but you can feel it.  This has extreme importance in what it means for Mother Earth for you to step up and just be you.  Be all that you are.  Mother Earth needs you to be all that you already are.  She needs you to trust in your divinity and allow yourself to evolve into what you have always been, pure limitless LOVE...
L...Limitless
O...Oneness
V...Vibrantly alive with
E...Enlightenment
In essence this means you have the capacity to change your world just by the thoughts that you think, the words that you speak, and the actions you take.  There are limitless possibilities for your life.  There are limitless possibilities for everything that you do.  They all line up with your soul's purpose and your spirit's desire to know its oneness with creator...with the highest vibration of reverent love.  The ease and vigor that your path depends on your alignment with source.   When you are out of alignment, out of balance, things may seemingly take longer, be harder, feel sticky or stuck, seem to drag on.  These are your cues, these are the signs of your spirit edging you on to go deeper within.  This is your calling to return to your center, to return to your source, to connect, to trust, to have faith in your divinity and oneness.  The path can be straight, direct, charged, peaceful, light filled and joyful...even in the times of doubt.  Or it can be windy, stretched, go over and under mountains, hills, valleys...it all depends on your courage to change your life and stretch yourself into new thoughts, new feelings, new pattern to lighten your way.  Never doubt your connection to source....it is always there in All Ways.   Never doubt your ability to overcome any situation you may be facing....the answers are always there in All Ways.   All you have to do is ask for help, confide in source with confidence.  
This is the key that opens the doors to your life and sets you onto the path of direction.  Have confidence and faith....ask, confide, expect, and let go.   Center yourself in source in your being, in your wholeness...in your oneness.  When you do your heart begins to hear the messages that have always been there in All Ways.   The answers will all ways come.   The answers will all ways come.  The answers will all ways come.   You must simply be aware and open to receive, to hear, to sense, and to know that they exist.
This is the time to continue to go deeper. To listen. To communicate.  The connection you have can only become clearer and stronger.
You are blessed with knowing.
You are blessed with fortitude.
You are blessed with peace.
Grace has no end.
You would never be left alone.
You are always surrounded with LOVE in all ways, all ways.
The keys....Confide with Confidence...Hold Gratitude in your Heart...
Thank You
Thank You
Thank You
Amen

Jennifer

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 12 - Love, Darkness, & The Feminine

Dear Ones,
Love has always been there. It has always been you. There is no greater clarity then looking on another with the eyes of love. Love allows your walls to come down that have 'protected' you for so long. Love allows for you to go within and give yourself the gift of unconditional acceptance. Love branches off to all those around you and allows them to feel your uniqueness, your bounty, your connection, your sacredness. Allow love to allow you to go within and love down the walls, the veils, the illusions you have created for so long. Suffering is not needed. Only pure acceptance of what you perceive to be real.
Sit for a moment in your angst, your fears, your resentments, desires and doubts.  Allow yourself to feel the grasp they have had over you all these years.  Allow your attention to go there and to feel their calling. Do not be afraid, they will not swallow you up or drown you in terror.  These are all images implanted in your mind from when you were very small.  Know that they are your friend, they have much to teach you about the illusions of life; about your power as a creator; about how you are already everything you have ever needed to become.  It comes from within, within you...this is where the answers lie. They are a calling back to your uniqueness, allow them to have a voice and see what they have to say.  Allow them to speak. Do not hide them any longer. Once your attention finally goes to them, like a child who has had a tantrum for many years, they finally will feel heard and they will rest from the exhaustion of never being allowed to speak. Finally they will calm down, finally they will rest because you will finally be mothering them, nurturing them, loving them like you have always wanted to be loved.  Their terror is not to be ignored but to love them instead so that they no longer have to be afraid,  this is the gift of your darkness this is the gift of the power of the feminine within you. The feminine does not fight against, it takes the darkness and loves it for what it is.  The feminine loves until that darkness can finally see for itself all that has always been there. Love it, embrace it, mother it, there is nothing to fear. It's grip will fade, the tension will clear, and only peace will reside. It is only through acceptance that we finally come to our peaceful power within.
Namaste my love.

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 11 - Your Darkness & Lightness

Dear Ones,
My love for you and humanity is great. I send this email to you after a calling, a feeling that came over me this morning of gratitude and complete peace. Please know that wherever you are and whatever may happening in your life is exactly where you are supposed to be at this time. No matter what may happening, all the illusions that may trickle In and out on a daily basis, it is EXACTL...

Y as it should be. Learn from these perceived darknesses that you may be facing. Thank them for their messages. Allow them to speak their hidden truths that reveal the greatness within you. Anything that feels yucky or stuck has much to teach you about how truly beautiful and full or light that you are. The stickiness may seemingly come from others in your life but take note it is just resistance that you have been holding in your body that is asking for your attention so that you can finally allow it to evolve into to its true form; LIGHT. Always ask for guidance, it is always there. Always be thankful, Grace is always there. Always confide in Source with confidence, the answers will ALWAYS be there.
On these next 21 days of evolutionary transformation into higher and higher vibrations of love we must go deeper into who we are in order to reach your light. The only way the trees grow stronger and stretch their branches further towards the light is if their roots grow deeper and deeper into the darkness of the Earth.
I will be going deeper and deeper. Deeper and deeper. With this I ask you to join me and have ALL that have ever wanted or felt called to do something during this time to join me as well. I am cleansing. I am eating only light filled foods during this time. No meats or flours or refined foods. Plenty of water and minerals and vitamins. This is important to processing and transforming with the new energies coming in. If you would like guidance or direction I am happy to provide. I am not a dietician but spirit is calling me to change my ways that began as an evolution many, many years ago and is coming to these last pivotal days. Life is meant to live with ease grace and joy and it begins with the unfearful consciousness that lives within you, me and all of us.
If you feel called to join me I will be sending out emails daily. If you know of others, please let them
Know as well. I will post pictures on Facebook as always and quotes from Spirit and I will include them in this email list that will continue to grow so that those not on Facebook can still join. If you wish to receive these by email send me a message at jenniferlaurenintuit@gmail.com. As always please keep sharing my posts on Facebook so that others can experience more of their lightness.
Namaste my friends.
I am grateful and humbled by your light and dark.
Peace

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 10 - "Dear Mom"

Dear Mom,

All that I am, all that I ever have known I learned from you ages ago.  You are my mother, my eternal bliss, my passion, my wonderment, my place to softly fall when I feel beaten and worn.  And now you are gone.  I loathed that day.  I remember it well.  I was lost in a haven of darkness back then.   The night before your death.  I felt it coming.  I knew…I knew I could not leave your side…I had been in that hospital many, many times.  Sitting by your side.  Watching, waiting, knowing the day was coming.  Knowing it was to be here soon.  What a nightmare it was for a girl so young.  I was only 16, and so much loss I had already endured and now this?  How could this be?  How could God have done this to me?  Was there even a God?  For at a loss, I was, I did not know.  I was 16 and so much without training.  So much of life I had already missed with you being sick for so long and in denial of your life, your past, your regrets, and all the things you wished you had or hadn’t done.  Now, it all came down to this…these final hours.  I was permanently loosing you.  My tears would never stop…they would continually role.  How bitter sweet this was for me long, long ago. 

Today…as a mother mothering my children …I miss you.  I have told you this before.  I know you hear me I know you listen.  The roses I see everywhere tell me so.  You are my Mother Mary.  It does not matter what happened in the past, it does not matter all the regrets and all the crosses that you carried.  I forgive them all.  I forgive you mom.   I forgive the life of pain that you lived, the life of regret the life of remorse and solitude that overwhelmed you.  You gave up…you told me.  This world was too much to bear.  Too difficult, too harsh, too everything.  I’m sorry that this is what happened to you.  I’m sorry that it was difficult for you to see the light, to see your light.  I know.  It does seem hard and difficult at times.  I know that life seems too much to bear.  But you taught me some incredible lessons from your death.  You taught me that life is not all that it seems.  That life can be all or anything or nothing that you want it to be.  That we have choices, that we have abilities, and strengths, and will, and divinity within us all.  Yes, you taught me that.  You taught me all of that.  As I watched you go through your pain and struggles as a child I took note of what effected you and how the choices you made brought you to that point of surrender of release into the infinite bliss.  It was your job to teach me and you did it well.  I thank you for this.  I thank you for all the times that you did not have the courage to leave dad... for all the times you did not feel strong enough, for all the times you endured his anger.  I forgive you for taking on the weight of the world upon your shoulders and never learning how to release it.  There were so many morsels of light that came from us learning together.  I can say that I now finally dance in our relationship.  With you on the other side and the veils being so thin.  I know that you guide me and protect me.  I know that you bring the people into my life that you wanted to help bring into my life while you were here.  I know that you watch over my children and that you speak to me through them at times.  I know that you encourage me through other Earth Angels that walk this planet in light.  I thank you for this. 

This day, 24 years ago, you took your last breath and spoke to me for the last time, and looked upon me from your earth bound body.  I remember staying forever in that hospital room and waiting and knowing and not caring about the cares of the world.  I remember learning a profound lesson on that day.  The light of our existence never dies with us when we go…it lives on eternally in the hearts of all those that ever were around us in our living years.  Our beingness lives on, always in all ways.  It is the memories I carry in my heart that live through me daily when I am with my children.  It is the heaviness that I was able to release for both of us when I realized that I too had taken on the weight of the world.  It is through my healing today that I know that you heal beyond.  I know that our connection is strong and as I heal, you heal, and our ancestry of women heal.  We are connected on levels that are inexplicable with human words but only felt serenely through the heart.  It is in knowing that through my forgiveness and transformation that we transform together.  I see your cancer as healed, I see you blissfully living the days that you had always wanted to live, I see you dancing with my children today in happiness and joy,  I see you being everything that you ever imagined yourself to be.  I see this because I forgive you and more importantly I forgive me.  Thank you mom, for the memories, for the lessons, that could have only come from the life that you lived.  It was through your life that you gave me life and for that I can only be thankful.  Thank YOU. 

Eternal Love and Eternal Light,

Your Daughter

Diary of an Intuitive - Blog 9 - "Dear Dad"

Dear Dad,

This letter has taken a long time for me to write.  It has been over 24 years since we last set eyes upon one another.  I know we have spoken in the past only a few times over the phone, but it doesn’t begin to satisfy the need for me to write these words to you.  You know I have three children now.  They are all still young, Ethan 11 years, Aiden 9 years, and Eleanor 6 years.  I named Eleanor after Mom.  Eleanor, from the Greek origin, means “sun ray, shining light”.   This is exactly what she is.  She is an incredible bright, shining light full of joy and powerful presence.  I feel that Mom was the same way at one time in her life.  I see much of the potential that Mom had in my daughter.  For me, this is healing.  Eleanor, my daughter, symbolizes hope, light, and freedom.  She has all that we never had as children.  As I watch her grow and become in every moment of her life I see her living the life I had always dreamed of living.  I also see in her presence her ability to bring light into someone’s eyes when they are feeling the darkness.  She does this so easily.  Fortunately, there is nothing that will dim her light and she will live the life that Mom always deserved.  In this, there is continual healing for our past and our ancestors that came before us that lived the patterns that we repeated so unconsciously throughout our lives.  She is living in a new generation of light, lead by her heart.  For that I am thankful. 

I have a son, Aiden.  The name Aiden, is of the Irish decent, meaning “little fiery one, little fire”.  This is exactly what he is.  He is a star in everything he does with his relationships and his everyday actions.  Everything he puts his hands on he completely consumes focusing all his energy on completing the task, whatever it may be, thoroughly and always with his ultimate best efforts.  Like a fire that consumes everything that is in its path.  So does our Aiden.  He does not rest.  He completes everything he starts.  He is also fiery at heart; compassionate and caring about his family, friends, and animals.  He is always sure to please anyone who invokes a relationship with him.  He will always be on your side and dedicated to the cause.  It is no mistake that he looks exactly like his Father.  They could be twins and their hearts hold the same twin flames.  They are fiery at heart, dedicated to the cause, and compassionate in the process.  Aiden has been a place of healing for my heart as well.  Always showing me the endless love and compassion in his heart.  He is a wonderful gift of warm snuggles and a gift of compassion for all.  He lives his life through his heart fully, feeling his every moment.

Finally, Ethan is our oldest son.  The name Ethan is Hebrew meaning “strong, firm, and safe”.  These are very appropriate descriptions of this boy.  As you may or may not know, Ethan was born with a disability called Spina Bifida.  His spinal cord was not formed properly in the womb thus causing him to have various problems with his leg strength and many other functions in his body.  He was never supposed to be able to do many things that he does today.  Nothing stops him.  He is always working hard and plays many, many sports.  His tribute is the strength and firmness he uses to approach life.  He comes at everything with an attitude filled with fortitude.  He has an incredible strong upper body that he uses to help him walk with arm crutches.  He is strong willed and determined to do things ‘his’ way in all areas of his life.  At the same time he approaches his relationships with people in the same manner; strong at heart.  He has inspired many with his strength and determination in life and continues to inspire people every day.  He has taught me the real reason we are here on this planet and that literally ‘anything’ is possible.  He has given me the strength to live my life the way I do and in the manner that I do it. 

My children have taught me what family is all about.  They speak to me every day through their actions and their words and help me to define our life in every moment.  My life growing up was completely different than theirs.  For this I am incredibly thankful. 

Dad, I know that you did everything that you could do to be the best at what you were when I was little.  I do have some wonderful memories of laughing in your presence.  I thank you for teaching me about life and fully living in the present moment.  Unknowingly, you taught me about the darkness in life which eventually propelled me into my light.  I’m sorry that life seemed dark and unbearable for you many times.  I’m sorry that it was often difficult to find your light.   I’m sorry that the patterns of rage and abuse went on for so long.  I’m sorry that it was so difficult to find yourself and in turn find your family.  I’m sorry that we never had a relationship built in love.  I’m sorry that life has past us by for so long without healing our family.  I’m sorry for the powerlessness you may or may not have felt.  I’m sorry for the feelings of abandonment that may or may not have been there.  I’m sorry for not reaching out to you sooner.  I’m sorry I was angry for so long.  I’m sorry that we missed many years together.  I’m sorry that life turned out the way it did.  I’m sorry for your past as a child and the loss you endured.  I’m sorry for the losses that we endured together during my childhood. 

I also want to thank you.  I thank you for teaching me about my light.  It was through watching your torment and your disrepair that I was able to find myself.  I learned what not to do.  Even when I began to repeat the same patterns in my life that you taught me…I was quickly able to understand where they came from and put an end to their travesty.  I thank you for no longer having to live in darkness.   I thank you for the power to end the lineage of self destruction in our heritage.  I thank you for ending the patterns of depression, addiction, and self destruction that has filled our heritage.  I thank you for the lessons I learned as a child that have helped me to heal into the present moment and forever change the future.  I am thankful for everything I was or wasn’t as a child & adult, everything I did or didn’t do as a child & adult, everything that I felt or didn’t feel as a child & adult, and everything that I would have or should have done or didn’t do as a child & adult due to the fears I unconsciously took on from our relationship.  In this writing there is forgiveness and there is the knowing that there is healing.  There is a miraculous feeling in the present that takes away all the burdens that we have ever felt about our lives individually and collectively.  As we heal our relationship we heal not only ourselves but all those in our heritage, our ancestors, and the other current relationships of fathers and daughters that need to be healed.  Our healing extends beyond what we can imagine.  It takes us to a new level of being.  For this, I thank you, I forgive you, and I ask for forgiveness from you.  Forgiveness wipes away our past, clears away the thoughts about our future, and brings us into the present…where miracles happen.  You taught me that.  I thank you.  If we can ever have a relationship again, whatever that may entail I accept it and am grateful for the possibility.  I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and I feel you in my heart.  You are always there and I love you in this moment and every moment.

Love,

Jennifer