Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 16 - Love Is

Dear Ones,

Bring in the present.  Bring in the present wherever you are.  Bring in the present with wherever you may be doing or knowing.  It is only when we base our assessment of a situation on the past, afraid of what the future may bring, that we get caught in the illusions of fear.  When we are being in the moment  & only in the moment is when we return to love.  That is the miracle of the present.  That is the gift we receive.  When we allow our thoughts to be present we remain in love.  When we no longer look to the past for information about the future, we remain in love.  When we remain in the now, we remain in love.  Birthing into this knowing can be a painful process.  But once it happens, once you are there, all is forgotten and you remember only of love.  When we are in the being, in the moment, you are knowing, feeling, being the Mother.  You are then the peace that you seek. It has always been there.   Hold yourself, nurture your being from within.  This is love.  You are what you have been waiting for.  When you finally see this, is when you finally know the love that you are.  When enough of us finally surrender to our love, the world finally becomes all that we have ever been trying to make it become.  When we finally know this for ourselves, love becomes our energy that allows us to shift the world just in our being.  It is not in the doing.  It is in the being that we transform the world.  Love only is....it does nothing, it seeks nothing, it has nothing to show, it only is.  Love has no gender, it has no name, it just is.  Love does not 'do' anything.  It only is.  Love is not separate, it is not something that comes in to transform or change anyone or anything.  It only is.  Love is a vibration, a frequency that does nothing but the 'being' of what it is.  It is in the 'being' that we feel the shift within ourselves and our worlds. 

 
LOVE IS...

Love and you are One

Love has no thoughts
In the present you have no thoughts
Love does not live in the past
In the present there is no past
Love does not try to change you
In the present there is no need to change

Love does not transform you

In the present there is no need to transform

Love just is

Love IS

LOVE DOES NOTHING

It does not seek

It does not fix

It does not take over

It does not transform

Love Just Is

Love IS

It does not do

It does not change

It does not think

It does nothing

Love Just Is

Love IS

Love is nothing

Love is everything

Love IS

Love Just IS

'IT' Is

'IT' Is

'IT' Is

You Are

You Are

You Are

I AM

I AM

I AM

LOVE

In Mother Love & Mother Light,

Jennifer

Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 15 - Our Sea of Surrender

Dear Ones,

The energies that are upon us have always been there.  They have always been within us.  It is only that now we are living in a time where the energies coming into this Earth plane are propelling us, asking us, pushing us to go deeper into ourselves.  Into our being...into that which we already are. 

There has been much talk of the end of the world.  There has been much talk about new beginnings and the miracles occurring.  And then there have been those that have just been and are just unassumingly being in the presence of this energy. 

Please know...that this energy we speak of, that many have been speaking of, that we are feeling in so many different ways is nothing but energy.  It is how we interpret the energy that makes our experience.  Energy is nameless....it does not distinguish between right or wrong.   It is neither darkness or light...IT JUST IS.   We are the ones that mindfully name the awareness that it brings to us.   Anything we perceive as darkness is our perception.  Anything we perceive is light is our perception.  That which it arises within us is nothing but something that was already within us to begin with.   If it is not working for you it is your opportunity to either go deeper into the depths of its hold on you or to allow yourself to release it and be transformed.  Unfortunately, many of us believe the illusions to be so real that they see no other way but deeper into the depths of their darkened realities.  Their deeper and deeper darkening of their darkness is a calling for us to bring awareness to that darkness to which we all share and finally transform ourselves into higher and higher vibrations of light.  No, we can not control others.  Yes, we can only be ourselves.  It is through being our lightness that we give others permission to be theirs.  This is how we change; this is how we bring change into the world.

The energy is cyclical....there were times before in the history of Mother Earth where she was shifting, moving and changing rapidly as she is today.  We, in this lifetime, get to experience this shift in her now, thus experiencing and shifting within ourselves and vice versa. 

The energy is thus as a flowing river...the currents can be strong and unyielding to all that stand in its way.  The river can be so strong that it can inhibit your ability to swim against.  It can be so strong that attempting to swim to shore may be fruitless.  So, in our will to control, we attempt to swim against the current.  We grasp and reach for anything and everything that will save us.  We fear that if the current takes us that all that we have ever been taught will take our lives.  When we are in the midst of fighting for our lives we are keenly aware of our fears, our limits, and our doubts.  We anticipate the worst will happen.  We 'know' that if we can not 'do' something to save ourselves we will lose our lives.  Hence we strive to work against the current.  We fight with all our power.  We swim against the flow of the river.  We grasp onto anything we we can hold onto that feels familiar for fear that if we do not find something outside of ourselves to hold onto we will lose all control and thus loose our life.  We finally find that when we struggle for so long and attempt to swim so hard only focusing on all that we have ever known to be true we lose sight of the simple ness to it all.  We forget that the answers may have always been right there before us.  And yet we continue to struggle, we continue to fight until we can fight no more.  We bring ourselves to such exhaustion that we finally realize that our own efforts are limited and that the inevitable is beyond our control.  It is in this moment. That we finally come to our surrender.  We give up the fight.  We allow ourselves to let go.  And as we do...as we let go...we begin to feel something other than what we thought was always to be true.  We feel that in our surrender we begin to feel again what the river was always trying to tell us...we begin to feel...and in the feeling we begin to return to a knowing that we had forgotten long ago...

The river tells us so...the river speaks...

"Follow me, she says.  Allow me to carry you.  Allow me to carry you to where you will go.  Trust in me.  Trust and know.  You may do all things through me...for I Am the strength and the desires that you seek.  We are one my child...the flow of the mighty river is yours if you follow my source and allow me to lead the way."

We hear what she is 'feeling' to us.  As we feel, our bodies begin to feel too.  Our minds relax and our hearts return to its natural state.  We begin to like the way these waters feel all around us.   We begin to breathe, we begin to flow.  Instead of sinking to the bottom like we had always been taught...we finally feel ourselves float.  We come up onto the top of the waters and return to enjoying the ride.  We continue to come upon rocks, boulders, or branches that seemingly get in our way...but amazingly as we trust, the current shifts us around these things we fear most.  And then as we continue to trust and shift we begin to realize that we are not just one river but many rivers that come from around the globe.  We are all carried into the same destination.  We are all emptied into the one sea....the sea of Unity.  Once we look back, we can 'see' that if we had never surrendered we would have never been carried to the ocean.   Once we are here...in the peace and calm of these waters....it is here that we can finally swim. 

The energies of this time are meant to help us finally release all that was never ours in the first place.  They are neither of darkness or of light. 

 

When we finally surrender

We finally let go of all that we have ever known to be our truth

It is then that we begin to realize that all that we thought made us limitless

Were our own limits that kept us from knowing

How truly perfect We Already Are

 

In Mother Love & Mother Light,

Jennifer

Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 14 - Your Transformation

Dear Ones,

The shifts taking place in many of us are strong and clear.  We are waking up to the new reality.  Those things that are no longer needed in this new reality are quickly being brought to the forefront in our lives and compassionately being asked to 'let go'.  All the fear, anxiety, impatience, loneliness, and dis ease that has ruled our lives for such a long time is melting away as the illusions they always were.   During a recent meditation experience I was asked, "Why would we (Source) ever have you come into this Earth plane without limitless support and love from the unseen?"  I ask you...."Why do you continue to believe that you are not supported by all of creation to become everything your Spirit has ever wanted you to be and experience?"   I encourage you to contemplate this question deeply within the center of your heart.   Go to the heart space and feel what the Mother within is truly trying to 'feel' you.  I encourage you to take many moments throughout your days to be with her and listen to her words of wisdom.   They are never anything but words of wise compassionate love.  Anything else is just al illusion of the 3rd dimensional Earth plane that was never meant to be a reality but only a part of the duality that we have experienced up until now.

Re Member that it is through this dual experience that we finally re Member, re Unite who and what we have Al Ways been in All Ways; LIGHT SOURCE.  These feeling of angst, anger,resentment...whatever they may be that linger within your body....felt as pain & dis ease are just re minders... That's all they are a re turn to the re minders of the mind....they are not what you are.  Even if they feel real, we must question what is truly the real ality of it all.  The pain that brings us back to our mind full of sorrows and loss or are they there to transcend us from our limitations with think we have within our minds.   If we are living through the heart she has another way for us, another path full of compassionate nurturing love that believes that you are nothing but light and that everything is possible through love.  When we re Member, re Unite with The Source of our being we re Unite with the consciousness that is ever so present NOW.   Yes, these dates that have been spoken about for so long are significant.  Yes, they bring change and transformation.  This change and transformation is nothing other than how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. 

We go within, we don't know why but we just know that we need to go within....there is a calling, a feeling deep within us that knows that the old ways no longer work for us and that if we continue to follow that path we continue in pain....so we go within....we create our cocoons to feel all that we are and experience our uniqueness our oneness with self.  We don't know why...There is just a sense...a need to do this...because the other ways of crawling on the ground no longer feel right anymore.  But we needed these earthly experiences in order to know that there is another way.  We don't really know what that is yet but we know that change is what we need to do.  We don't even know exactly how that change is going to happen but we trust and have faith that it will be done for us.   So we trust and have faith while we are in our cocoons that all is happening exactly as it should because it is in divine order.  Through this change we begin to transform.  It is difficult to see what is going on at times because sometimes we can't see the light.  Sometimes the darkness within our cocoons is so dark that we feel stifled and paralyzed.  But we continue to trust because we know that this is where we need to be, for some reason, because we follow our intuition of going within.  Eventually, we have experienced enough of the darkness that we begin to feel different.  We shift, turn, and change and begin to move in different ways.  These ways may still seem restricted and limited but we move anyway, knowing that as we move differently we begin to feel different.  As we shift and move we begin to see little cracks of light coming through into our cocoons.   We like the way this light makes us feel so we continue to shift and move ever so more, ever so even more knowing that as we move in these knew sometimes awkward feeling ways that something is going right for us because it is letting more light come in to our shells that we have created.   Until suddenly, one day, in the midst of our transforming a peace of our cocoon breaks off and the light comes pouring in!  'Oh my', we feel to ourselves...this is LOVE  ly.  So we transform even more as we move and continue to break out of our shells to allow the light to pour over our bodies.   And then we notice...before our being ness...we feel different, we feel lighter, we feel freer.  We begin to integrate this newness into our everyday being as we sit and contemplate all that has just happened and wait as we dry off. We feel what it is finally like to be without the cocoon we have had on us for so long.  And when we have finally soaked up enough of the light that has transformed our bodies...We feel ready.  We feel that there is no turning back to that which we once were....and it is then that we begin to FLY.  

In this time of transformation into our brilliance...know that this is exactly what is happening.  Do not fear change...welcome it in with Love and Peace....

This time of Transformation is purely about PEACE...

P atient

E nlightenment

A bundant in

C ompassion &

E cstasy

It is time to move into your divinity....it is time to fly.

Mother Love & Mother Light,

Jennifer

Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 13 - 12/12/12 Your Light Has Arrived

Bringing in the Joy on 12/12/12

Dear Beings of Light,
Many of you have invested your time and energy in today, 12/12/12, as being a significant and transformational day.   I encourage you to do just that.  To be in the moments and the energy of this day without doubt, without fear.  Rest assured that 12/12/12 is that of what you make it to be.   I know that for my kids it is all about a fun date on a calendar that does not happen very often and will not happen again in our lifetimes.  Know that today is what you make of it.   As is any day on the calendar year.  Every day is an opportunity to make shifts and changes based in transformation love frequencies.   Today is quite unusual.   It is a day to bring in your JOY.  Through thoughts of peace and love we can finally 'see' with clarity for all that life is about fun.  Pure fun. Pure joy.  We were never meant to suffer.  In your lightness there is lightness in the air.   There are feelings of uninhibited ways of being, doing, and transforming....there is freedom....there is the final release and loss of the fear and the illusions that we must go through life In pain in order to learn.   I encourage you to embrace this time in this way.   Yes, Mother Earth needs to heal.   Yes, the Mother in you is birthing.  Yes the Mother in us all is becoming.  This is ALL GOOD.  It does not have to painful...it can be blissful.  We have collectively decided today as a day of peace and big changes.  We have collectively decided that the 21st and 22nd will bring more of this shifting energy.   Do not doubt that today and iNto the 22nd extends far above and beyond just these days.   This is a time of transformational learning, shifting, and becoming that you are going through that will pave the way for others to follow on a speedy path with you; if they so choose.  Through consciousness you are setting the stage for a the new way of living.  Of course it felt sticky, stuck, and yucky up until now for many of you.  But I encourage you to feel without doubt that what you have done and or being is transforming rapidly and making light years of strides for all beings.  The intention of one makes shifts in self and others....the collective intention of many makes strides beyond what the mind can imagine.   Feel this with your heart today.   Confide with confidence in Source all of your fears, all of your doubt, all of your love, and all of your joy.  Be thankful and know that it is done. It is done.  Be with others of likemindedness/likeheartedness.  Be with others of likeheartedness. Feel your spirit  further transpiring and igniting you along your path of light.  Today is about unfolding, becoming and exploding into your Joy of living, being , and knowing that all is exactly as it is to be.  There are so many of us resonating on this factor that miracles will occur in this new time of ahead of us; do not doubt.  They will be free flowing and many.   Make use of your time today and cherish the wisdom you have within.  Connect and know that whatever is true to your heart is being heard....
It is that simple
It is simply that simple
It is simply that simply divine
In the days weeks months and years ahead you will remember this time period and look upon it with fondness and the knowing that your growth and the growth of the collective Mother was as transformative  as a newly hatched butterfly learning to fly.  Spread your wings, see with clarity...the flight has just begun.
Mother Light & Mother Love,
Jennifer

During these days ahead, I encourage you to be in the presence of others feeling and transforming as you are....in an effort to support this need we are hosting another event this Saturday 12/15/12... The information is below and on Facebook....please attend if you feel called to do so and invite others to come...

Healing the Healers...

Dear Ones,  

As we shift into the new energies of 2013 it is important that you gather with 'likeness' to support each other In releasing that which no longer serves your purpose.  It is time to bring in your new brightness, your lightness, and affirm your gifts.  The energies are ready to work with you to release and become your spirit's calling.  It is up to you to make the change.  This is your opportunity to do just that.  This is a place that will conspire to give you all that you inspire to create.  We are calling on the healers, the practitioners, the light workers, friends, family, etc.  We ARE ALL HEALERS as we all need to heal ourselves first. The new age is about living from the heart... A clear mind is ever so still important but it will no longer be the leader of our lives. We are leading from the heart in every action & every being. We are co creating through heart, mind, spirit a perfect balance throughout our lives and the lives around us.   It is the age of miracles and transformative restorative light energy. Come be a part of this shift that is happening right now. Come help activate and facilitate your transition closer to thy self and thy spirit. We will facilitate this process, together.  It is up to you.  I hope to see you there.

In Mother Love and Mother Ligtht,

Jennifer

Event location...

StudioLotus

150 E. Cook Ave

Libertyville, IL. 60048

7-9pm

We are asking for a $20 donation to cover the costs for the location. Please pass this along to all that you feel called to send this to. 

Diary of a Woman of Light - Blog 15 - Birthing the Mother

Dear Ones,

We are shifting into a new plane of consciousness.  One that is ruled by peace.  It is the age of pure enlightenment, of being, of love.   Our planet is transforming more and more into light.  We are leaving the age of fear and darkness behind.  We are leaving the age of the mind and becoming the age of the heart.  We will not dismiss the mind, as it has served us well.  It has been necessary to learn all that we have and advance to wonderful technical heights.   But what holds us back from going further is the void of living through the heart, the mother, the mother love.  Our knowledge is very important, this will never be dismissed.   The difference will be in how we use this knowledge and teach others.   Once we learn to integrate our knowledge into our state of being and allow ourselves to listen to our hearts first we will go much further than ever before.   Miracles will happen, shifts will occur, and lightness will abound.   This is what we are moving into.  This is the age of being. This is the age of being in the being first, connecting first, listening to within, then moving forward.  No longer will your choices be made based on the external....you will finally follow your heart, the internal. 

The age of loving thy self and loving thy neighbor is upon you.

The shift begins with you.  The healing begins with you.  The peace begins with you.  The love begins with you.  It is all already you. 

What can you do? You can be.  Be present with self.  Be present with others.  In the presence of the present there are unimaginable gifts just waiting to be opened.  Gifts of the heart that would never have been seen or felt with the mind.  When we are present with our hearts they show up for us to open.

Not too long from now...or it has already begun.... You will feel a calling from your heart to follow your spirit.  You have been pregnant with these dreams for a very long time.  Nurture the dream allow it to be birthed.  The voice inside of you that has the desire to 'be' something you have always wanted to be or do will be even louder.  One that you will no longer be able to ignore.  Listen to her, feel her calling, allow her to speak.  She is your heart.  Your true form, your state of being.

Follow your heart, follow your dream.  Do not be afraid.  Fears are of old energy, of the past.  Remember, they are there to lift us up and bring us further into our light. Face your fears, they have no power over you, you are the power...the peaceful power from within.

Step forth on the path of your heart.  Test the waters...day by day. Do something that brings you closer to your desires of the heart, your passions, your dreams. Live the promise...live the dream.   Your dream is not about force, pushing, making, or pulling other to come along.  It is about being it yourself and allowing others to come if they so choose.  Allow, ask, confide in source, and walk through the doors when they begin to open. 

Suppressing your fears from the past has brought on your illusions of lack, distrust, and unbelief. These are the patterns that will no longer serve you.

This is the age of the heart, the Mother, the light from within.  This is the age where we trust our bodies, trust ourselves, trust in our wisdom from within.  The universe will conspire to give you all that you inspire.

There is a calling, listen to her voice, feel it, trust it, listen....she is bringing you back to you.  The place you have always known but were afraid to be.  Come back to her.

 

Mother Light & Mother Love

Jennifer

 

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 14 - Mother Love

Dear Ones,

I come to you with great pleasure and sincere gratitude.  Everything is shifting rapidly and going forward with peaceful healing.  Mother Earth comes to you today with a request for self knowing self healing and self being.  She is calling your attention to the Mother within.  She is longing for you to return  to your true essence as a Motherly Being.  Whether you are male or female, it makes no difference.  The feminine is within ALL OF US.  She has been sleeping for a very long time.  Even in the age when women fought for their rights...this was not true feminine power.  It was feminism tainted with fear.   The age of femininity that the Mother is calling us back to remember is the age of Peaceful Power.   In this peaceful power there is nurturing.  There is a knowing that you are all that is and all that is ever needed.  Many of us lack the peace that we are seeking because we lack the nurturing from within.  We are longing for attention, we are longing for connection, we are longing for oneness with another.  But this longing comes from a deep void that has remained empty for a very long time.  We may not notice these longings until we have developed other manifestations of problems in our life; whether it is an addiction, craving, relentless fear, unsatisfying relationship...they stem from the void that you have had for a very long time.   You may be seeking food, people, things, substances to satisfy your cravings....but one can not satisfy an emptiness inside without first attending to the wounds.  Your body is a miraculous being of light that has the power to heal when we attend to our needs.  These needs come from the emotions within that are trying to get your attention.  They are pulling at your sleeve asking you to finally hear what they have to say.   Only you know what they are saying, only you understand what they mean.  You will never receive what you are seeking from the outside.  It can only come from listening to the deepness from within.  This deep void is no one's fault...there is no one to blame....it is a calling back to your spirit.  It is through the experience of this darkness, this void, that we remember our light.  Darkness is nothing to fear.  It is a gift to help you remember.  Without the fear we would not know which path to choose.  Through the fear we can choose to walk in our light. 

Mother Earth craves the nourishment and connection that you crave for yourself.  You are one in your yearnings and desires.  What you feel within you is what she is feeling within her.  In healing your wounds and attending to your seeds of darkness,  you heal her and allow the bounty of light to grow.

Be with yourself, breath into your being, ask for guidance, and Waite for the answers to come.  Love yourself with deep affection.  Bring compassion into your bodies through your thoughts and feelings.  Love your self as you would love a newborn infant.  When they cry, we connect and help to coddle their fears.  Do the same for you.  When you cry allow yourself to feel what is truly going on from within.  Connect with the different cries that are within you and begin to understand what each one means and what each one is truly seeking.  Sometimes it may be a compassionate swaddle of affection, sometimes it may be a nurturing substance of light filled foods or drink, sometimes it may be a need to go deeper within to find the roots of the cause of your discontent.  Whatever it is, it is the opportunity to feel and connect with your life and breathe motherly love into every space of your being.  Connect, see with the eyes of love. Be with yourself, talk softly to yourself, caress yourself, bathe yourself, massage yourself, feed yourself light, stretch yourself, move yourself gently and passionately, trust from within.  She is your guide. 

In the com(passion) for self we return to a depth full of all that we have ever been seeking.  We return to the nurturing guidance of a Mother's love.  It is through the Mother that we become love.

Mother Love, Mother Peace, Mother Light
Jennifer

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 13 - L.O.V.E.

Dear Ones,
It is with great pleasure that I reach you yet again with these words.   For these words are more than just words...they carry energy.  Just as all that around you is made up of different types of vibrations and frequencies, so are these words that you read.  They are meant to carry the highest frequencies of love, gratitude, and reverence for all that you are and all that you have already become.  These words carry deep gratitude beyond what anything can express.  It is a feeling that surrounds you of grace and wonderment in knowing that all is as exactly as it should be.
The time is now, dear one, to allow LOVE to flow through your body like never before.  It is time to allow lightness to abound within you.  You are limitless.  This is beyond concept beyond ideas. The mind cannot understand fully what you are but you can feel it.  This has extreme importance in what it means for Mother Earth for you to step up and just be you.  Be all that you are.  Mother Earth needs you to be all that you already are.  She needs you to trust in your divinity and allow yourself to evolve into what you have always been, pure limitless LOVE...
L...Limitless
O...Oneness
V...Vibrantly alive with
E...Enlightenment
In essence this means you have the capacity to change your world just by the thoughts that you think, the words that you speak, and the actions you take.  There are limitless possibilities for your life.  There are limitless possibilities for everything that you do.  They all line up with your soul's purpose and your spirit's desire to know its oneness with creator...with the highest vibration of reverent love.  The ease and vigor that your path depends on your alignment with source.   When you are out of alignment, out of balance, things may seemingly take longer, be harder, feel sticky or stuck, seem to drag on.  These are your cues, these are the signs of your spirit edging you on to go deeper within.  This is your calling to return to your center, to return to your source, to connect, to trust, to have faith in your divinity and oneness.  The path can be straight, direct, charged, peaceful, light filled and joyful...even in the times of doubt.  Or it can be windy, stretched, go over and under mountains, hills, valleys...it all depends on your courage to change your life and stretch yourself into new thoughts, new feelings, new pattern to lighten your way.  Never doubt your connection to source....it is always there in All Ways.   Never doubt your ability to overcome any situation you may be facing....the answers are always there in All Ways.   All you have to do is ask for help, confide in source with confidence.  
This is the key that opens the doors to your life and sets you onto the path of direction.  Have confidence and faith....ask, confide, expect, and let go.   Center yourself in source in your being, in your wholeness...in your oneness.  When you do your heart begins to hear the messages that have always been there in All Ways.   The answers will all ways come.   The answers will all ways come.  The answers will all ways come.   You must simply be aware and open to receive, to hear, to sense, and to know that they exist.
This is the time to continue to go deeper. To listen. To communicate.  The connection you have can only become clearer and stronger.
You are blessed with knowing.
You are blessed with fortitude.
You are blessed with peace.
Grace has no end.
You would never be left alone.
You are always surrounded with LOVE in all ways, all ways.
The keys....Confide with Confidence...Hold Gratitude in your Heart...
Thank You
Thank You
Thank You
Amen

Jennifer

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 12 - Love, Darkness, & The Feminine

Dear Ones,
Love has always been there. It has always been you. There is no greater clarity then looking on another with the eyes of love. Love allows your walls to come down that have 'protected' you for so long. Love allows for you to go within and give yourself the gift of unconditional acceptance. Love branches off to all those around you and allows them to feel your uniqueness, your bounty, your connection, your sacredness. Allow love to allow you to go within and love down the walls, the veils, the illusions you have created for so long. Suffering is not needed. Only pure acceptance of what you perceive to be real.
Sit for a moment in your angst, your fears, your resentments, desires and doubts.  Allow yourself to feel the grasp they have had over you all these years.  Allow your attention to go there and to feel their calling. Do not be afraid, they will not swallow you up or drown you in terror.  These are all images implanted in your mind from when you were very small.  Know that they are your friend, they have much to teach you about the illusions of life; about your power as a creator; about how you are already everything you have ever needed to become.  It comes from within, within you...this is where the answers lie. They are a calling back to your uniqueness, allow them to have a voice and see what they have to say.  Allow them to speak. Do not hide them any longer. Once your attention finally goes to them, like a child who has had a tantrum for many years, they finally will feel heard and they will rest from the exhaustion of never being allowed to speak. Finally they will calm down, finally they will rest because you will finally be mothering them, nurturing them, loving them like you have always wanted to be loved.  Their terror is not to be ignored but to love them instead so that they no longer have to be afraid,  this is the gift of your darkness this is the gift of the power of the feminine within you. The feminine does not fight against, it takes the darkness and loves it for what it is.  The feminine loves until that darkness can finally see for itself all that has always been there. Love it, embrace it, mother it, there is nothing to fear. It's grip will fade, the tension will clear, and only peace will reside. It is only through acceptance that we finally come to our peaceful power within.
Namaste my love.

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 11 - Your Darkness & Lightness

Dear Ones,
My love for you and humanity is great. I send this email to you after a calling, a feeling that came over me this morning of gratitude and complete peace. Please know that wherever you are and whatever may happening in your life is exactly where you are supposed to be at this time. No matter what may happening, all the illusions that may trickle In and out on a daily basis, it is EXACTL...

Y as it should be. Learn from these perceived darknesses that you may be facing. Thank them for their messages. Allow them to speak their hidden truths that reveal the greatness within you. Anything that feels yucky or stuck has much to teach you about how truly beautiful and full or light that you are. The stickiness may seemingly come from others in your life but take note it is just resistance that you have been holding in your body that is asking for your attention so that you can finally allow it to evolve into to its true form; LIGHT. Always ask for guidance, it is always there. Always be thankful, Grace is always there. Always confide in Source with confidence, the answers will ALWAYS be there.
On these next 21 days of evolutionary transformation into higher and higher vibrations of love we must go deeper into who we are in order to reach your light. The only way the trees grow stronger and stretch their branches further towards the light is if their roots grow deeper and deeper into the darkness of the Earth.
I will be going deeper and deeper. Deeper and deeper. With this I ask you to join me and have ALL that have ever wanted or felt called to do something during this time to join me as well. I am cleansing. I am eating only light filled foods during this time. No meats or flours or refined foods. Plenty of water and minerals and vitamins. This is important to processing and transforming with the new energies coming in. If you would like guidance or direction I am happy to provide. I am not a dietician but spirit is calling me to change my ways that began as an evolution many, many years ago and is coming to these last pivotal days. Life is meant to live with ease grace and joy and it begins with the unfearful consciousness that lives within you, me and all of us.
If you feel called to join me I will be sending out emails daily. If you know of others, please let them
Know as well. I will post pictures on Facebook as always and quotes from Spirit and I will include them in this email list that will continue to grow so that those not on Facebook can still join. If you wish to receive these by email send me a message at jenniferlaurenintuit@gmail.com. As always please keep sharing my posts on Facebook so that others can experience more of their lightness.
Namaste my friends.
I am grateful and humbled by your light and dark.
Peace

Diary of a Wounded Healer - Blog 10 - "Dear Mom"

Dear Mom,

All that I am, all that I ever have known I learned from you ages ago.  You are my mother, my eternal bliss, my passion, my wonderment, my place to softly fall when I feel beaten and worn.  And now you are gone.  I loathed that day.  I remember it well.  I was lost in a haven of darkness back then.   The night before your death.  I felt it coming.  I knew…I knew I could not leave your side…I had been in that hospital many, many times.  Sitting by your side.  Watching, waiting, knowing the day was coming.  Knowing it was to be here soon.  What a nightmare it was for a girl so young.  I was only 16, and so much loss I had already endured and now this?  How could this be?  How could God have done this to me?  Was there even a God?  For at a loss, I was, I did not know.  I was 16 and so much without training.  So much of life I had already missed with you being sick for so long and in denial of your life, your past, your regrets, and all the things you wished you had or hadn’t done.  Now, it all came down to this…these final hours.  I was permanently loosing you.  My tears would never stop…they would continually role.  How bitter sweet this was for me long, long ago. 

Today…as a mother mothering my children …I miss you.  I have told you this before.  I know you hear me I know you listen.  The roses I see everywhere tell me so.  You are my Mother Mary.  It does not matter what happened in the past, it does not matter all the regrets and all the crosses that you carried.  I forgive them all.  I forgive you mom.   I forgive the life of pain that you lived, the life of regret the life of remorse and solitude that overwhelmed you.  You gave up…you told me.  This world was too much to bear.  Too difficult, too harsh, too everything.  I’m sorry that this is what happened to you.  I’m sorry that it was difficult for you to see the light, to see your light.  I know.  It does seem hard and difficult at times.  I know that life seems too much to bear.  But you taught me some incredible lessons from your death.  You taught me that life is not all that it seems.  That life can be all or anything or nothing that you want it to be.  That we have choices, that we have abilities, and strengths, and will, and divinity within us all.  Yes, you taught me that.  You taught me all of that.  As I watched you go through your pain and struggles as a child I took note of what effected you and how the choices you made brought you to that point of surrender of release into the infinite bliss.  It was your job to teach me and you did it well.  I thank you for this.  I thank you for all the times that you did not have the courage to leave dad... for all the times you did not feel strong enough, for all the times you endured his anger.  I forgive you for taking on the weight of the world upon your shoulders and never learning how to release it.  There were so many morsels of light that came from us learning together.  I can say that I now finally dance in our relationship.  With you on the other side and the veils being so thin.  I know that you guide me and protect me.  I know that you bring the people into my life that you wanted to help bring into my life while you were here.  I know that you watch over my children and that you speak to me through them at times.  I know that you encourage me through other Earth Angels that walk this planet in light.  I thank you for this. 

This day, 24 years ago, you took your last breath and spoke to me for the last time, and looked upon me from your earth bound body.  I remember staying forever in that hospital room and waiting and knowing and not caring about the cares of the world.  I remember learning a profound lesson on that day.  The light of our existence never dies with us when we go…it lives on eternally in the hearts of all those that ever were around us in our living years.  Our beingness lives on, always in all ways.  It is the memories I carry in my heart that live through me daily when I am with my children.  It is the heaviness that I was able to release for both of us when I realized that I too had taken on the weight of the world.  It is through my healing today that I know that you heal beyond.  I know that our connection is strong and as I heal, you heal, and our ancestry of women heal.  We are connected on levels that are inexplicable with human words but only felt serenely through the heart.  It is in knowing that through my forgiveness and transformation that we transform together.  I see your cancer as healed, I see you blissfully living the days that you had always wanted to live, I see you dancing with my children today in happiness and joy,  I see you being everything that you ever imagined yourself to be.  I see this because I forgive you and more importantly I forgive me.  Thank you mom, for the memories, for the lessons, that could have only come from the life that you lived.  It was through your life that you gave me life and for that I can only be thankful.  Thank YOU. 

Eternal Love and Eternal Light,

Your Daughter

Diary of an Intuitive - Blog 9 - "Dear Dad"

Dear Dad,

This letter has taken a long time for me to write.  It has been over 24 years since we last set eyes upon one another.  I know we have spoken in the past only a few times over the phone, but it doesn’t begin to satisfy the need for me to write these words to you.  You know I have three children now.  They are all still young, Ethan 11 years, Aiden 9 years, and Eleanor 6 years.  I named Eleanor after Mom.  Eleanor, from the Greek origin, means “sun ray, shining light”.   This is exactly what she is.  She is an incredible bright, shining light full of joy and powerful presence.  I feel that Mom was the same way at one time in her life.  I see much of the potential that Mom had in my daughter.  For me, this is healing.  Eleanor, my daughter, symbolizes hope, light, and freedom.  She has all that we never had as children.  As I watch her grow and become in every moment of her life I see her living the life I had always dreamed of living.  I also see in her presence her ability to bring light into someone’s eyes when they are feeling the darkness.  She does this so easily.  Fortunately, there is nothing that will dim her light and she will live the life that Mom always deserved.  In this, there is continual healing for our past and our ancestors that came before us that lived the patterns that we repeated so unconsciously throughout our lives.  She is living in a new generation of light, lead by her heart.  For that I am thankful. 

I have a son, Aiden.  The name Aiden, is of the Irish decent, meaning “little fiery one, little fire”.  This is exactly what he is.  He is a star in everything he does with his relationships and his everyday actions.  Everything he puts his hands on he completely consumes focusing all his energy on completing the task, whatever it may be, thoroughly and always with his ultimate best efforts.  Like a fire that consumes everything that is in its path.  So does our Aiden.  He does not rest.  He completes everything he starts.  He is also fiery at heart; compassionate and caring about his family, friends, and animals.  He is always sure to please anyone who invokes a relationship with him.  He will always be on your side and dedicated to the cause.  It is no mistake that he looks exactly like his Father.  They could be twins and their hearts hold the same twin flames.  They are fiery at heart, dedicated to the cause, and compassionate in the process.  Aiden has been a place of healing for my heart as well.  Always showing me the endless love and compassion in his heart.  He is a wonderful gift of warm snuggles and a gift of compassion for all.  He lives his life through his heart fully, feeling his every moment.

Finally, Ethan is our oldest son.  The name Ethan is Hebrew meaning “strong, firm, and safe”.  These are very appropriate descriptions of this boy.  As you may or may not know, Ethan was born with a disability called Spina Bifida.  His spinal cord was not formed properly in the womb thus causing him to have various problems with his leg strength and many other functions in his body.  He was never supposed to be able to do many things that he does today.  Nothing stops him.  He is always working hard and plays many, many sports.  His tribute is the strength and firmness he uses to approach life.  He comes at everything with an attitude filled with fortitude.  He has an incredible strong upper body that he uses to help him walk with arm crutches.  He is strong willed and determined to do things ‘his’ way in all areas of his life.  At the same time he approaches his relationships with people in the same manner; strong at heart.  He has inspired many with his strength and determination in life and continues to inspire people every day.  He has taught me the real reason we are here on this planet and that literally ‘anything’ is possible.  He has given me the strength to live my life the way I do and in the manner that I do it. 

My children have taught me what family is all about.  They speak to me every day through their actions and their words and help me to define our life in every moment.  My life growing up was completely different than theirs.  For this I am incredibly thankful. 

Dad, I know that you did everything that you could do to be the best at what you were when I was little.  I do have some wonderful memories of laughing in your presence.  I thank you for teaching me about life and fully living in the present moment.  Unknowingly, you taught me about the darkness in life which eventually propelled me into my light.  I’m sorry that life seemed dark and unbearable for you many times.  I’m sorry that it was often difficult to find your light.   I’m sorry that the patterns of rage and abuse went on for so long.  I’m sorry that it was so difficult to find yourself and in turn find your family.  I’m sorry that we never had a relationship built in love.  I’m sorry that life has past us by for so long without healing our family.  I’m sorry for the powerlessness you may or may not have felt.  I’m sorry for the feelings of abandonment that may or may not have been there.  I’m sorry for not reaching out to you sooner.  I’m sorry I was angry for so long.  I’m sorry that we missed many years together.  I’m sorry that life turned out the way it did.  I’m sorry for your past as a child and the loss you endured.  I’m sorry for the losses that we endured together during my childhood. 

I also want to thank you.  I thank you for teaching me about my light.  It was through watching your torment and your disrepair that I was able to find myself.  I learned what not to do.  Even when I began to repeat the same patterns in my life that you taught me…I was quickly able to understand where they came from and put an end to their travesty.  I thank you for no longer having to live in darkness.   I thank you for the power to end the lineage of self destruction in our heritage.  I thank you for ending the patterns of depression, addiction, and self destruction that has filled our heritage.  I thank you for the lessons I learned as a child that have helped me to heal into the present moment and forever change the future.  I am thankful for everything I was or wasn’t as a child & adult, everything I did or didn’t do as a child & adult, everything that I felt or didn’t feel as a child & adult, and everything that I would have or should have done or didn’t do as a child & adult due to the fears I unconsciously took on from our relationship.  In this writing there is forgiveness and there is the knowing that there is healing.  There is a miraculous feeling in the present that takes away all the burdens that we have ever felt about our lives individually and collectively.  As we heal our relationship we heal not only ourselves but all those in our heritage, our ancestors, and the other current relationships of fathers and daughters that need to be healed.  Our healing extends beyond what we can imagine.  It takes us to a new level of being.  For this, I thank you, I forgive you, and I ask for forgiveness from you.  Forgiveness wipes away our past, clears away the thoughts about our future, and brings us into the present…where miracles happen.  You taught me that.  I thank you.  If we can ever have a relationship again, whatever that may entail I accept it and am grateful for the possibility.  I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and I feel you in my heart.  You are always there and I love you in this moment and every moment.

Love,

Jennifer

Diary of an Intuitive - Blog 8 - "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

I miss my mom.  I miss her dearly.  What do I miss about her?  I miss all the things that a mother can give to her child.  I miss the long hugs at nighttime before bed.  I miss the kisses on the cheek.  I miss her fingers stroking through my hair.  I miss the sound of her voice in just everyday conversations.  I miss the look in her eyes when she would be surprised by something special I would do or say.  I miss being able to secretly rummage through her closet and try on her clothes, shoes, and jewelry.  I miss the smell of her hair and the closeness of her skin when we used to read books together on the couch.  I miss the times when she would take me ‘back to school’ clothes shopping.  These are only some of the things that I miss about my mom.  Despite her short life on this Earth, she impacted my life in many ways.  Many of the reasons why I do the things that I do in my own petty little ways are because of what I learned from my mom growing up.  For instance, it is important for me to always have lots of vegetables at the dinner table for everyone to eat.  My mother was a Sicilian Italian.  So lots of yummy vegetables were feasted on regularly with lots of olive oil, pine nuts, parsley, and garlic, mmmmm….yum!  I can smell the garlic and taste the melody of flavors in my mouth right now.  For this reason, I feel it is necessary to have at least two or more vegetables at our dinners in my home daily.  My mother loved to doodle and draw.   Whenever she was on the phone she always had a pen and piece of paper to doodle on no matter how long she was occupied.  Most of the time they were backs of envelopes that were lying around from the daily mail.  Everywhere there was a phone in our home, back then cordless phones did not exist, you could find envelopes with black ink doodles and a plethora of pens.  To this day, I take doodling seriously.  Whenever I am in need of quiet time or thoughtful contemplation you will find me doodling in a journal using a mixture of words and whimsical pen tip creations full of curves, angles, scribbles, and any type of figure that keeps me from thinking too much.  I do my best creating when I allow my hands to go and my mind to rest.  I think my mom felt the same way while on the phone. 

I have inherited some not so wonderful traits from my mother as well. For instance, I used to have an internal drive to be most critical of those closest to me.  I called my judgmental friend, Judy.  Judy used to come out often in my home.  I would always have a comment on how things could be done better or how somebody shouldn’t be doing this or shouldn’t be doing that.  Acceptance rarely turned her compassionate head for a very long time.  Judy Judgment was most critical upon myself.  My hair was never perfect, my body was always needing to be worked on, my thoughts were never Buddhist enough, and I never accomplished enough throughout my days.  Of course, since I judged myself I would always secretly bring out Judy in the presence of others.  It wasn’t until  I began working on myself and loving myself, as well as having a patient husband who would point this out to me time and time again, that I began to get to the root of why I felt this way and where it came from.  My mom was Queen of the Judy Judgmentalists that lurk throughout the Earth.  She was constantly correcting my dad for his choices, telling me what I did right or wrong, and then judging the service we received in a restaurant or the clerk at the shopping center counter.  As it seemed, there wasn’t enough things done right in my mom’s world and she let everyone know about it.  Where did she get this?  Well, it was passed down from generation to generation.  My mother’s side of the family is inheritantly judgmental.  Always seeing the bad and how things could have and should have been done differently.  Her mom was like this and her dad was like this.  It has been a trait that I have had to remove many layers of in order to realize that this was something I learned to do as I watched my mother do all of this as a child.  It is amazing what we soak up as children and how these ideas shape how we see the world.  Today I catch myself in the process as it is happening…Judy Judgment yearns to peak her head around the corner and add her opinions, I feel her icky presence, then I gently remind myself that I do not share this crown any longer,  as she withers away, grows smaller and smaller,  never to be seen again.  Kind of like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz who melts away after Dorothy stumbles upon her weakness to water.  Ironically, our dark side’s weakness is awareness! 

There are many other trademarks that I learned from my mom.  Many are light filled as well.  My mother’s ability to know something before it was going to happen or be able to finish someone’s sentence.  She could just piece things together for people.  Through deeper questioning and simple discussions she could always see for others what they could not see for themselves.  (Maybe that is why she doodled so much while she was on the phone???) She could help them make the best choices by just sensing the proper path.  This is something I definitely received from my mom.  This may also have been why she could be so judgmental.  If you can sense or know the path of light for someone and they choose not to take it, it may become extremely frustrating.  Unless you are able to embrace the idea that we all have choices and lessons to learn in this ‘Earth school’ and that we all need to make these choices for ourselves.   One runs the risk of becoming extremely judgmental if you can see the highest path for others and they decide not to take it.  Now, that is a lesson in itself! 

My point is that we learn from our parents when we are young no matter what kind of upbringing we receive.  Whether they were there for you or not and how they were there for you, can be a tree full of ripe and juicy reasons why we make our choices the way we do as adults today.  There is simple truth to the phrase, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Whether it is something that we inherited that may be perceived as ‘good’ or perceived as ‘bad’ it is still something that we are challenged to ask ourselves why we make the choices we make and why we do the things that we do, especially if we are faced with turmoil in our life.  Often it is because we are unconsciously repeating the patterns of our parents or treating ourselves unconsciously in the way that we were treated as children.  When a client comes to me and is in turmoil about a current situation in their life it is often rooted back to childhood lessons learned that we unconsciously put in our childhood toolbox.  Whether it was a helpful tool or a tool that is not appropriate for the job it is always important to look at the tools in the toolbox and see why we use them.  This almost always gives us the answers to what is currently going on in our lives today.  Through heightened awareness we are able to stop ourselves in the moment of repeating the same patterns over again, reflect on what we have learned, and choose a different tool that many of us have forgotten about; The voice of spirit.  We have an internal voice innately connected to Source.  It is our light filled self that is not tainted by external forces but rather tuned into our spirit.  It has the ability to bring awareness to each and every moment and help us make new choices that would bring the highest outcome to each situation.  When we peel back all the layers we get to live an authentic life.  For you, for me, for anybody it will all be different.  An authentic life is authentically yours, no one else’s.  You get to choose what fills your toolbox and which tool would be the perfect fit for your desired outcome. 

Peace.