Winter Sucks! My Perception about this time of year...

This morning I woke up with a terrible feeling in my body.  It was the feeling I always get this time of year...that feeling of the winter blahs.   This is the time of year where I just want to go south and never return to the cold again.  I have a hard time with winter.  The cold seeps into my bones creating an ever present chill that makes me want to pull the bed covers over my head and go for a hibernating sleep that will not wake me until spring time.  I find it difficult to want to do anything.  The usual chores that I need to get done around the house are even a real pain in the butt because it is cold and snowy outside.  So...I usually do all the things that sends me into a more depressed state...I eat more, I sleep more, and I do less...thus creating an ever present spiral into a downward shift.  It's a beautiful pattern that I have during the winter time.   I always learn more about myself in these days of darkness than ever before.  There is something about living in the darkness for awhile that teaches you more about life than just living in the light.  Yes, it is wonderful to be light filled and I encourage everyone to be filled with light but there are times when it is necessary to feel the darkness so that we can burn that much brighter.  So, what did I do this morning when I awoke into my miserable state of hating winter?   I forced myself to get up...because I had to...I had Mom responsibilities needing attention.   Thank goodness for my kids...or I'd never get up (-;   I forced myself down the stairs to make my tea and sit sipping caffeine trying to wake myself up for 20 minutes before the day began.   Finally, when I felt the wakefulness that I search for on mornings like these I pushed myself to get up and start the day.  After the morning ritual of helping my kids get ready for school I decided that I had to embrace my perceived hatefulness towards winter.  If I didn't begin to change my thoughts about this time of year I would continue to make myself miserable.  So, I decided to embrace it fully...I put on my boots, my long winter jacket that covers me from head to ankles, gloves, and hat and went out into the miserable snow!  I went for a power walk to get rid of my frustrations about winter and to embrace this time of year fully.   I schlepped through the 2inch packed down snow on sidewalks, the slippery slush and ice, and the wind that hit my cheeks every couple of feet.  I plugged my ears with headphones and listened to my favorite tunes.  I breathed deeply and forcefully into the present moment as I stomped my feet and walked determined around the town.  I was on a mission and nothing was going to get in my way.  Nothing did.  I breathed, I walked, I furiously took on the winter blues and blahs and told them to go you know where.  I had it with feeling sorry for myself and found a way to turn my sour apples into apple pie.  And you know what happened?    I actually began to smile to myself half way through my temper tantrum walk.   I began to feel this lightness creep into my body.   I began to enjoy myself.  Then, suddenly, I  felt this undeniable urge to lie down in the blank open field of snow along my path and be a kid again.  I saw a fresh open patch of snow that was just calling for me to make a snow angel.  That is exactly what I did....I laid down on top of the white blanket and made my mark.  As I was doing it I hoped that someone would see me too and that it would bring a smile to their face just as it was bringing a sense of joy to mine.  I laid there and not only enjoyed the feeling of powder under my body but was able to take in a crisp blue sea filled sky above me. I was transformed.  I arose from my snow angel with a new sense of embrace for where I was and what I was feeling.  I emerged from my cocoon with wonder and deep gratitude for this time of year I so often despised.  I even elongated my walk and turned it into a time that I will savor and hope to do again in the next week.  All I can say is...my perceptions changed when I decided to go bravely into my fears and do what I hate most.  And you know what? I'd do it all over again.

Peace to you my friends...and may you charge bravely into your fears with the knowing that something delightful may come from having a temper tantrum every now and then.