But our lives were forever altered. Forever changed in ways that no one could fathom unless you have walked in this experience. For all beings take disaster in different ways and process life in their own perceptions. For us…our perception has always been to take what life throws at you…to catch it…and throw it right back. Some of us may drop the ball from time to time…but overall…it’s about picking it up again…and trying over and over again until one day you throw that ball back and it never returns.
This is my journey through it all...through the last 2 months…through a life time of healing that came to me on that One Crazy Night. I will speak of times and perceptions of myself that have clouded my ability to see the light and know that the darkness was just my illusion that I created…most of my life. In this writing there is healing…not only for me…but for my family…and those that this will extend to. I will speak of the healing that has been happening between my children, between myself and my children, and the healing that has come over me that has directly changed my relationship with my husband. Oh, there is much to say, much to do, and much to share. All about that One Crazy Night…
I was armed that night. I was armed with an army of angels that stayed by me all night long. I could feel them all around me. I knew that they were trying to assure me that this was divinely orchestrated for our life. That everything was exactly as it should be. As I panicked inside, I showed only that of a calm demeanor to my children. As I spoke to them and assured to them that all would be ok and that they had nothing to worry about. My insides shook with fear. As I spoke of our lives and how having each other is all that we needed….I wrestled with the thought that all of our stuff would be gone. As I hugged and consoled and spoke of their pets being ok. I knew in my heart that they were not. It was a night full of extremes. Full of heart ache. Full of heart wrenching turmoil. Full of despair and at the same time, peace.
Andy, my husband, quickly found a way to get an early flight
back to Illinois. We received the phone
call that changed our lives at 1:30am and by 4am he was on his way to the
airport. He had just flown into
Philadelphia only 14 hours earlier to meet up with his family for my son’s sled
hockey national tournament games. I held
myself together as he left the hotel room. I told myself inside to keep it together. This was not the first time I had experienced
a tragedy. Actually, I have grown a
custom to the unusual. My life has been far
from typical. Still, I felt insecure and
downright afraid. But I told myself that
feeling these emotions could wait. I had
to hold it together. I had to get
through the weekend. I had to be there
for Ethan and my other two children.
This was Ethan’s weekend. It was
his turn to shine. We were in Philadelphia for his Sled Hockey’s team National
Championship games. His 12th birthday
was the very next day. We were exactly
where we were supposed to be. We were in
one of the most inspirational places that anyone could be. I was the lucky one who stayed behind with
the kids. I worried about Andy. I worried that he would be ok. I worried about what he would be facing. I worried that there would be nothing
left.
As I shut the door of the hotel room….and stood there
wondering what to do now that he is gone…I turned towards my kids who had
fallen back asleep. I watched them lying
there so peacefully. How could they be
sleeping right now? How is it that they
are able to lie there undisturbed after hearing that our house had just burned? And then I recalled my sweet assurances to
them…. I had been assuring them all along that everything would be ok….that all
is well…that there was nothing to fear…that they should go back to dreaming
because all would be taken care of.
There was nothing left for me to do either… so I laid down in the bed
next to my daughter who drifted away in her dreams. I laid there wondering and praying, asking for guidance, asking to be shown. I laid there surrounded in hues of purple. Purple energy came over my body in encasements of love and honor and beauty. These colors are not ordinary colors. I see them often in healing sessions. Now, it was my own healing that was being orchestrated from above. The energy took over the room. It wrapped around the room like a tidal wave of purplish hues that took no mercy upon fear. It loved it to death….
The hughes of healing draped over me for the rest of the
early morning hours until sunrise. I
knew in these moments that this was perfectly orchestrated that this fire was a
metaphor for how our lives would be changed forever. I felt reassured. I felt peace.
I didn’t want to leave my bed.
But as the sun began creeping from behind the hotel room blinds…I knew
that it was time to part ways. I asked
them to hang out and surround us constantly….this is what they did…
